Don’t wish upon the devil

Sometimes life is so damn frustrating. Yeah, it sucks sometimes. And I always feel this way especially when it concerns my relationship, my relationship with my fiancée. Oh no, just accept the truth mother fucker writer that she’s no longer your fiancée. Yeah, you were engaged a year ago but have you read it right? Two weeks ago, she broke up with you!

You are nothing but an asshole to her. You are nothing but a deceitful bastard. I know that your decision to purchase a house and tighten your belt to pay for the monthly mortgaged was to prepare for your marriage with her next year. I know that you and your fiancée had already made that date. I know that both of you had already decided long before that it was best to have a house of your own than rent an apartment, a reason that gives more weight to purchasing the house.

But you are not good enough because as the law of attraction posits, people are attracted to their opposite. Fair ladies are dating pimpled-face guys. Beautiful lasses are fucking sweat-smelling faggots. It’s the law of attraction. You are what most girls dream off, their prince charming riding on a horse; a person with etiquette and class. But it is just a dream; it is just a character in their created and imagined world. And you acted like that; you behave exactly like that fantasy-character. How would you expect them to treat you?

Of course, she will treat you like you don’t actually exist. You’re just a dream, remember? You’re just a fantasy and are so good to be true.

I know you value relationship like how you value your friends and family. I know you treasure commitments which is priceless than rare and largest diamonds found on earth. I know you love your fiancée, your ex-fiancée, more than your life. I know you have done enough and had traded precious moments, materials and opportunities. But she still could not trust you. You are just a fairy tale character, did you forget it?

Don’t wonder if you are coined liar. Don’t freak out if you are considered a womanizer. A tale is not only about heroes. It also has villains. It even has ugly character like the prince frog and the beast. It also has witches and monsters. You are just too well-mannered. She, perhaps, wants you to be rude and rough sometimes.

I am certain you wish to be a devil. But don’t ever wish upon the devil. He is real and he might hear you. This is real life and not a fairy tale. I know you are envious of bad guys, drug addicts, skin-deep womanizers living happily with their devious ways while you’re heart is breathing suffering and feeling all lonely and sorrowful.

Don’t despair! While many modern liberated ladies look for substance of men’s wallet, there are still few who values and treasures relationship. Statistics has it that many divorced women, who leave their husbands because they thought they were shit-heads, actually realizing sooner that their former husbands were like angels and saints.

Don’t panic! There is no such thing as happily ever-after. It is in the fairy tales only. It is in the book and books have ending. You can still have a life full of bliss, a real life, not a fairy book tale. Blissful life is a fruit of the many bagyong Ondoy (Tropical Storm Ketsana) and Pepeng (Typhoon Parma) you braved, countless uphill and downhill climb attempts over chocolate hills you surpassed, and many pot-holed highways you traveled.

Marriage is not all about love and trust. It’s not about how many problems you both have given resolutions. She may be mentality ready when you proposed to her and said yes, yet she may not be emotionally and psychologically ready to marry you now.

You don’t have to crawl to her feet in your soiled cloth begging for her attention and love. The usual thing you do in the past six years of your life. You know your worth and you know what you are capable and not capable of giving and doing. You just have to do what is downright correct, morally correct to be specific.

Never beg. Everything will turn out good for you. What is important is you have done your share, you have done what are expected of you and you never cheated. You are a good person and have done good things to people. You have helped people in your little ways.

You will be loved in a distinct and beautiful way. You may not know when but it will surely happen. You know who you really are. Your close friends and people who you come in contact with daily know your worth.

They know and you know that you are not perfect. But they know you have a big and kind heart. Your ex-fiancée may not see now your worth. But like they always say, you’ll only know the value of certain things or people to your life when they are already gone. It’s a sad fact.

I know that she had other relationships before you but it wasn’t that deep. Reason that mere pinch of jealousy in her heart she already wishes to murder you. Reason that she thinks you’re monstrous of all the men out there. Her wounded heart had not been salt rubbed before.

I know you’ll be asking this: “Does she really need to undergo pain in another relationship to realize that she’s already in good hands?”

It’s a good question but she’s the only one who can answer that. You don’t have hand on her personal decision. She’s the only one who can decide for herself. If she is truly in love with you and is fully prepared to marry you, she has to make that decision and not you. Remember this is no longer a fairy book tale. This is real life. In relationship, you are not only the writer, you need a co-author.