Empowered

I met this lady more than six years ago. From then on, I rise (not fall) in love with her. She is a lady of simplicity yet her simplicity makes her more beautiful not only in my eyes but in the eyes of the many men who come to notice her. I very well knew that she had a lot of admirers, beautiful men from different walks of life. Of course, men with big pocket.

She never wears a make-up and I love to see the nakedness of her face. Though, at present she occasionally wears a light make-up to office. But a lip-balm or lip shiner and a dash of powder foundation will do. She is simply beautiful.

She was always quiet and that made her more mysterious to me. She is a woman with strong personality. She always had uttered this “I could live a life without a man” phrase. Not a kind of woman who is easy to handle, right?

I am fortunate; I don’t have the looks and money to date this kind of lady but I am her boyfriend for more than six years now. Currently, I am actually engaged to her. I am lucky because with the many troubles (read: challenges) we underwent in the many years of our relationship, I could proudly say that we had surpassed them.

It’s difficult perhaps to love a strong woman. She’s a challenge but what keeps the relationship going are the challenges. Who wants a boring relationship, anyway? And in every challenge we overcome, my respect and love for her gets re-affirmed and stronger.

She is the only woman I love more than my life. Except my sister and mother, of course. And the woman I am talking about is the lady, second from left, in the picture. This is a Casino Femme Alcohol ad which first saw print in page 151 of the Metro Magazine, October 2009 issue. She is Ms. Iris Stella Jure, soon to be, with God’s blessing, Ms. Iris Stella Jure-Montero.

Threesome

We heard it before and we will certainly hear this again today, tomorrow or even in the coming generations. It will always take two people to tango. No doubt it is politically correct.  How about threesome?

It’s not about sexual adventurism. Nor I am talking about having another romantic and sexual relationship other than your wife or girl/boyfriend. I am referring to a situation wherein you or your partner is somehow flirting with an opposite sex but not in a sexual way.

I had read an article in Inquirer.net regarding a woman who is married and is somehow rekindling the passion of her past relationship with her ex-bf, who happens to be single until now. The guy actually is working overseas and they plan to meet one of these days. The girl even admitted that she is now feeling in love again with her ex-bf.

This situation may be improper, downright immoral in the Philippine scene, but this would somehow help this woman reach a very good decision for her life in the end. I could picture out from the article that she may have some unresolved issues with her present partner, reason that she had entertained and is experiencing some love magic in her heart just by communicating with her ex. They may labeled her infidel, unfaithful, immoral, etc but the fact that she did not have any sexual relationship at the moment with this guy and the possibility of them meeting and continuing their interrupted relationship remains nil, I could not coined her as such.

I am not against of my girlfriend meeting new a guy. I am not against of the idea of her communicating or exchanging messages with a flirt guy. But she must let me know. She must inform me how she is progressing with this guy. I don’t even care if she had phone sex with this guy while I am listening. I see nothing immoral with that set-up.

What makes it unacceptable and immoral is when it comes to a time that they will actually meet. What makes it immoral is when it comes to a point that she would already kiss and sleep with this guy. What makes it unacceptable is when she already had forged a relationship with this guy and she is still with me.

This scenario will usually lead to two things. First, she would finally recognize your worth to her life. She would be able to affirm her love for you. You will live a life assured that you are truly loved by your wife or girlfriend. She will not have the “what if I …” question lingering in her mind. And she would be proud of her decision.

The second thing and probably the worst thing you don’t want to hear is she realizing that she is not really into you. She may discover that she only loves you because of the money and presents you have given her. She may find out that it wasn’t love that keep her with you but the heat of passion you shared when you are together; that it was not love but your shared or common traits and aspirations that bind you.

We all know that romantic and sexual relationship is not all about shared aspirations, interests and dreams. It is not about similarity of traits and behaviors. But it is all about complementing the flaws, imperfections, deficiencies, limitations, etc of your partner. How can you walk an extra mile if you and your partner both have leg-problems?

Sometimes we need other people to serve as our mirror. Sometimes we need a complex scenario to remind us of what we really wanted. And sometimes it takes three to make a relationship successful.

I had a share of this experience in the past.

Don’t wish upon the devil

Sometimes life is so damn frustrating. Yeah, it sucks sometimes. And I always feel this way especially when it concerns my relationship, my relationship with my fiancée. Oh no, just accept the truth mother fucker writer that she’s no longer your fiancée. Yeah, you were engaged a year ago but have you read it right? Two weeks ago, she broke up with you!

You are nothing but an asshole to her. You are nothing but a deceitful bastard. I know that your decision to purchase a house and tighten your belt to pay for the monthly mortgaged was to prepare for your marriage with her next year. I know that you and your fiancée had already made that date. I know that both of you had already decided long before that it was best to have a house of your own than rent an apartment, a reason that gives more weight to purchasing the house.

But you are not good enough because as the law of attraction posits, people are attracted to their opposite. Fair ladies are dating pimpled-face guys. Beautiful lasses are fucking sweat-smelling faggots. It’s the law of attraction. You are what most girls dream off, their prince charming riding on a horse; a person with etiquette and class. But it is just a dream; it is just a character in their created and imagined world. And you acted like that; you behave exactly like that fantasy-character. How would you expect them to treat you?

Of course, she will treat you like you don’t actually exist. You’re just a dream, remember? You’re just a fantasy and are so good to be true.

I know you value relationship like how you value your friends and family. I know you treasure commitments which is priceless than rare and largest diamonds found on earth. I know you love your fiancée, your ex-fiancée, more than your life. I know you have done enough and had traded precious moments, materials and opportunities. But she still could not trust you. You are just a fairy tale character, did you forget it?

Don’t wonder if you are coined liar. Don’t freak out if you are considered a womanizer. A tale is not only about heroes. It also has villains. It even has ugly character like the prince frog and the beast. It also has witches and monsters. You are just too well-mannered. She, perhaps, wants you to be rude and rough sometimes.

I am certain you wish to be a devil. But don’t ever wish upon the devil. He is real and he might hear you. This is real life and not a fairy tale. I know you are envious of bad guys, drug addicts, skin-deep womanizers living happily with their devious ways while you’re heart is breathing suffering and feeling all lonely and sorrowful.

Don’t despair! While many modern liberated ladies look for substance of men’s wallet, there are still few who values and treasures relationship. Statistics has it that many divorced women, who leave their husbands because they thought they were shit-heads, actually realizing sooner that their former husbands were like angels and saints.

Don’t panic! There is no such thing as happily ever-after. It is in the fairy tales only. It is in the book and books have ending. You can still have a life full of bliss, a real life, not a fairy book tale. Blissful life is a fruit of the many bagyong Ondoy (Tropical Storm Ketsana) and Pepeng (Typhoon Parma) you braved, countless uphill and downhill climb attempts over chocolate hills you surpassed, and many pot-holed highways you traveled.

Marriage is not all about love and trust. It’s not about how many problems you both have given resolutions. She may be mentality ready when you proposed to her and said yes, yet she may not be emotionally and psychologically ready to marry you now.

You don’t have to crawl to her feet in your soiled cloth begging for her attention and love. The usual thing you do in the past six years of your life. You know your worth and you know what you are capable and not capable of giving and doing. You just have to do what is downright correct, morally correct to be specific.

Never beg. Everything will turn out good for you. What is important is you have done your share, you have done what are expected of you and you never cheated. You are a good person and have done good things to people. You have helped people in your little ways.

You will be loved in a distinct and beautiful way. You may not know when but it will surely happen. You know who you really are. Your close friends and people who you come in contact with daily know your worth.

They know and you know that you are not perfect. But they know you have a big and kind heart. Your ex-fiancée may not see now your worth. But like they always say, you’ll only know the value of certain things or people to your life when they are already gone. It’s a sad fact.

I know that she had other relationships before you but it wasn’t that deep. Reason that mere pinch of jealousy in her heart she already wishes to murder you. Reason that she thinks you’re monstrous of all the men out there. Her wounded heart had not been salt rubbed before.

I know you’ll be asking this: “Does she really need to undergo pain in another relationship to realize that she’s already in good hands?”

It’s a good question but she’s the only one who can answer that. You don’t have hand on her personal decision. She’s the only one who can decide for herself. If she is truly in love with you and is fully prepared to marry you, she has to make that decision and not you. Remember this is no longer a fairy book tale. This is real life. In relationship, you are not only the writer, you need a co-author.

I stand towering over Fuente Osmeña (A sky experience adventure)

It is customary to celebrate birthdays by throwing lavish party for relatives, close friends, etc. My family doesn’t host birthday parties. We can’t afford to have one before and it somehow becomes a tradition for my family not to hold one even if we can already afford it; except when my father turned 60 and, probably, on the 60^th birth anniversary of my mother.

I also like it this way for at least I won’t force myself to save more for the occasion. My idea of a best birthday celebration is a dinner with my loved ones. And the best idea of all is to exclusively celebrate it with the person who means the world to you – may it be your husband, wife or fiancée.

Sometimes the usual dinner idea during birthday celebration doesn’t appeal much especially if you don’t see each other often and had frequently go to good restaurants when you had opportunities. So in this year’s birthday celebration of my fiancée, a year after I made that wedding proposal, we tried a different activity. What other activity could be distinct and adrenalin pumping than having it atop the tallest building in Cebu City?

We had her birthday celebration at Crown Regency Tower and Hotel at downtown Cebu. The place boasts for the first and only sky extreme adventure in the country. It housed the country’s first extreme skywalk fitted at the 37^th floor, 400-feet above the Jones Avenue. The extreme skywalk is believed to be the fourth in the world today, according to Randy our guide and who happens to be a friend of Kuya Rex. Kuya Rex, anyways, manages the Red Raft, which specializes in white water rafting in Cagayan de Oro City. This skywalk is the same as the skywalk found in Macao and other parts of the world.

We took the skywalk extreme first, walking in a platform suspended at the side of the building. Fashion accessories are prohibited and we were given the skywalk suit. Don’t worry about rubber shoes for they provide them also. You will first feel the thrill the moment you step on the platform, which is made of aluminum and glass panels, and will have the tendency to hold your safety harness. But as you walk around the edge of the building, you start to relax and feel comfortable. It was a good feeling sitting on the edge of the platform, which the two of our lady companions were afraid to do. I was glad that Iris was cool about the idea. The skywalk offers you ample time to appreciate the 360 degrees view of the city. It had a drizzle that afternoon. The rain soaked platform added more thrills and excitement to the experience.

Our second ride that day was on the world’s first edge coaster, suspended atop the skywalk platform. The edge coaster, a two-seater car, rotates around the building. The car can tilt up to 55 degrees over the edge of the building which gives you the view of the ground below as if you are thrown out of the building and is flying. The car tilts automatically to 55 degrees on its turn at the first corner, which surprised both of us. The operator didn’t tell us about it. Iris was asking me to pull down the lever, which control the tilting of the car, to its normal level. After that turn, you are given a free-hand in tilting the car, which I occasionally try to tilt to its limit and Iris letting go a big shout asking me to turn it down again as if she might fall to the ground. We finished the 5-minute cycle on the building with big smiles in our face. I didn’t enjoy much the ride, but I enjoyed seeing the reaction of my fiancée every time I tilted the car.

We end the day’s adventure with a buffet dinner at the Sky Bar and Restaurant located at the top floor of the building with a full view of Cebu’s skyline and Cebu’s harbor at night. We only spent a total of P1,700.00 for the two rides (skywalk and edge coaster), access pass and buffet dinner for two. We brought with us a digicam but its use was prohibited during the ride. They have their own photographer to take souvenir photos, however, be prepared to spend a minimum of P350.00 per printed photo. I suggest the you asked for digital copy saved on a CD, which cost us P1,100.00 for the pictures during the edge coaster ride and the skywalk. We may have spent P2,800.00 for that adventure but we won’t surely forget the experiences we had had especially that it was the birth anniversary of my fiancée.

Got cream cheese in my belly

Last year, I hit the gym as a birthday gift to myself. But I stopped to go to the gym after it was razed by fire. Even there are many fitness gyms in CDO, I did not bother to enroll again for many reasons. One reason is I was worn-out going to it especially that my work demands me to travel to other parts of Northern Mindanao. I am sometimes away for a week. Though often there are fitness gyms in these places, I am fully dog-tired when I reached the hotel after the field work.

On the other hand, I am a very frugal person and this penny-pinching attitude sometimes gets in the way in my decision of buying additional food supplement. When you do fitness exercises, you also need to give yourself more protein, amino acids, etc. I have a lean body and have faster body metabolism so I need those. And a pound of whey protein, which can be consumed for 10 days if I’ll follow the serving suggestion, will cost me P1,400.00 or more.

More importantly, I was disappointed on the progress of my exercise regimen. I had to carry it out five times a week in the first month and four times weekly in the succeeding months with a different regimen. I like the second program because it allows me to finish all the exercises in lesser time. I could also feel its effect on the targeted muscle group; however, it was more of strength and endurance training. Thus, I didn’t gain more muscle but my agility was perfect.

Months came and passed. Then I felt that my endurance and immunity to illness has diminished. When I was still in the training program, I hardly catch cold. This prompted me, last August, to enroll again but in a different gym, the one near my boarding house. As of this writing, my old gym is not still open and is undergoing renovation after the inopportune fire incident.

I was given a different program – the usual three sets and 12, ten and eight repetitions, targeting various muscle groups. It includes nine to ten different exercises in a day, thrice a week. This schedule allows my muscle to rest and grow. But I applied the Barbarian Exercise principle instead of the usual regimen. I used the Barbarian-style principle in my last year’s training but I didn’t gain much. My objective, then and now, is to gain muscle and weight.

I see an improvement in my latest fitness training. When I have measured my progress the other day, the only part of my body which didn’t see improvement is my thigh. The rest had improved. And I am six pounds heavier today since I started my work-out. But I have to work on my abs this time because it gained 1.5 inches when it should not.

Perhaps, I had overworked my muscles before but with the present system and schedule, I had given my targeted muscle group to rest for a week. And the result is promising. I used to let them rest for two days only.

With a good exercise routine every week and good food (less pork, more fish and vegetables), I am in for a good life. A good life with a good wife in the near future; hope she’s reading this.