is working abroad worth it?

While most people around me want to work abroad, I detest it. I really don’t see myself working outside my beloved Philippines; just like the feeling of leaving my beloved town, TAGO, in the province of Surigao del Sur to find a decent and good paying job which also offers job security for my future. But is there really such thing as “job security”? The recent world financial crunch clearly illustrates that there is no such.

As long as I can find job in my own country, I would never leave it. There’s no country in the world more beautiful than my Philippines; it’s the people, actually only few people, who painted a grotesque picture of the country I am so enamored.  The Philiipine Map is a vivid manifestation of the beauty it possesses. There is no other map as beautiful as ours.

While people use poverty as their pretext of going abroad, I don’t see it as a valid reason. You me argue that it’s easy for me to say so because I have work. But I was not born in a financially endowed family. I came from a family of farm workers. I came from a family who belongs to the bottom echelon of our social class. I and my family had wrestled poverty and is still continue to grapple with it. With little creativity and a lot of hardwork, we were able to make both ends met.

When I had a petty salary of more or less P4,000.00 a month, I stil have a good life. When I received 5-figure pay per month, it seems nothing has changed. I still don’t have a bigger savings. In fact, I had more savings in the bank when I was earning a few dime than now. It’s actually about simple mathematics operation or management of personal finance. And being contented with what you have or living within your means. I observed that promdis in the provinces are more happier than promdis living in cities. 

One of my first cousins who had gone to work abroad had once said that being OFW is just one step to being financially stable but it should not be a lifetime goal. An OFW contract normally expires in two years, OFW should think ahead what he/she would do after the contract expires, he said. In most instances, they return abroad and the cycle perpetuate until their children had graduated college. There were instances also that OFW were compelled to return because their family were used to more disposable income. My cousin now works in call center and is with his family. You can’t put a price for the quality time you spend with your family, he reasoned.

The following is an excerpt from an article posted in Inquirer.Net on Agust 9, 2009 by Mike Bolos entitled “Was working abroad for 25 years worth it?”. 

His observation on his children:

 My children

When I left for Saudi, my two girls were four and five years old, and later I also had a son. I think I did not fail as much with them, except for the fact that I was not there when they were growing up and when they needed a father most. I thought that since there were many children like them with fathers working away from home, either in Manila or abroad, they were kind of psychologically prepared to miss me.

Even when my children were still young, we traveled together often, around Asia, in the United States, as well as in Europe. I was able to send my two daughters to good schools. They did well academically. One of them completed a BS in Hotel and Restaurant Management. She is now married to a dentist, has two kids, and has put up a drug store. The other daughter completed a BS in Pharmacy and has electronics and Internet business interests.

The problem I encountered with my children was in relating with them when they were growing up. They would be spending money left and right, as if to punish me. One was more responsible in handling financial matters, but our separation may have affected her adversely. For instance, to date she has not gotten married. The other daughter really maximized the credit card I gave her while she was studying abroad.

I think my daughter Michelle can better appreciate now this issue of migration and its social costs. She is now a professional. It is easier to say now that she wished mothers would not need to tell their children they have to work abroad to buy food and to send them to school—it is a lot easier for someone who is not financially poor or suffering. But we do not live in an ideal world. Definitely, they enjoyed the luxuries my work abroad provided them. It is definitely different from those who cannot afford such luxuries.

I know of OFWs who return to the Philippines for good only to be back in Saudi after six months, crying that it was difficult to tighten belts with their children telling them to go back abroad.

What his take on his relationship with his wife:

My relationship with my wife

However, I failed as a husband. My wife and I got married in 1975, while I was still studying. It is possible that at that time my wife already had some feelings of insecurities. These feelings intensified because of our longer separation and lack of communication or miscommunication.

At that time, the main form of communication was letters and it took a month for letters to reach and get reply from Saudi. Telephone calls were expensive, costing $5/minute. (In fact, the best communication channel for a Kapampangan OFW is the “padala” or the “OFW postman” with OFWs and their partners networking sufficiently that every week, at least one OFW is leaving or returning to Saudi.) With promotion that is not common for OFWs and for whom, compared with Westerners, it is tougher to achieve and therefore one’s performance has to be glaringly better, I became very busy with work forgetting to communicate with her.

I was away for two years for my first contract and could take vacation only once a year in my early years with Gamma. After 10 years, I was coming home more frequently, but I think it was too late to repair the damage in our relationship. I think I took my wife for granted, neglected her, and failed to address this problem soon enough.

During our vacations with our children, I think my children were feeling miserable when for every tiny thing my wife and I would argue and fight. I felt we were just wasting money on our vacations.

Later on, our relationship further deteriorated and became so intolerable. It was like for as long as she holds our marriage contract she could not give up and continued messing up my life even if we were actually separated because she has some “right” over me.

Thus, there was no choice but to part ways. In fact, the children helped finalize the separation. They talked to their mother and advised her to move on with her life. Much later, we got our marriage annulled. I think the children took it well. It was better for all of us and we all now enjoy peaceful coexistence.

 

Mr. Bolos’ reflection:

Is it worth working abroad?

Was working abroad worth it? I do not know. At the personal level, I know what I got out of it and what I achieved. I know I tried hard and proved I could do it. I worked hard in my profession and I think I was a financial success. But my marriage and my children suffered. But life is not perfect.

Hence, to me, working abroad doesn’t seem really worth it. If you were to ask me, I think it is still best to work here, close to one’s family. This is the best situation because money is not everything, especially for women. It is tough enough for a family when the father is not there. It is even tougher when it is the mother who is not around to hold the family together.

In terms of our country, ideally, we should find jobs here. There should be no need to go abroad. At the same time, people should be free to make choices, to travel, and to find jobs when there are none here. But the social costs are just too great. The greatest advantage of working abroad then seems to be the financial gains.

OFWs should maximize their stay abroad. They should not waste their time and resources because they can do a lot that can contribute to their early return to the Philippines. They should continue learning and improving themselves so that they do not have to work abroad forever. They should maximize their stay abroad because they are paying such a high price for it. They should preserve and not squander their earnings (e.g. on consumer goods like electronics, cell phones, and signature goods).

They should save and invest their earnings well so that when they return home they would not have to start from zero. Savings no matter how small will eventually amount to something over time if done consistently and invested wisely.

Based on my experience, I enjoin OFWs now to do everything possible to preserve their families at all costs. Knowing what I know now, I would have done things differently to preserve my own. Despite the distance, OFWs should try to be as close to their children as possible so that they will not become delinquent children.

It appears to me that the risk is high and the probability is great that the children may not grow up like those with both parents around them. In which case, is the social cost worth it? Most OFWs would say they had no choice.